Lately, my heart has been fuller. My heart has been reacting to my brain’s observations of our daughter, whether it’s her strides in sitting upright, her belly laughing at random things, or her napping peacefully.
The napping peacefully is what fills my heart the most, particularly when she’s napping in my arms. There’s an inexplicable sensation my heart feels, as if it’s a fountain overflowing, that is unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. My heart feels full and warm.
There are two ways that our daughter naps in my arms:
One way she falls asleep is when I stand and rock her facing away from me, and then I sit down, allowing her to lay on my upper body alongside a long tubular yellow couch pillow. It’s like we’re watching tv together except her eyes are shut and her lower lip has drool hanging.
Another way is she falls asleep facing me, her head resting sideways on my left collarbone/shoulder area and her body facing my chest. This is the most wholesome nap personally because it’s increasingly rare as she rapidly develops and grows.
A couple of Sunday mornings ago, she fell asleep in the second way, and it was arguably the best day ever. I don’t even remember what I did the rest of the day, but it didn’t matter; her nap made the day perfect. She was warm, happy, and peaceful. It was a 2.5 hour nap and I hardly moved a limb, only pointing my thumb up and down on the remote to change tv shows, which I watched on mute in fear of disrupting the most wholesome nap. Eventually, she woke up, raised her head off of my shoulder, looked at me with pinkish eyes, and smiled.
I cherish those naps because they’re rare and brief opportunities to hold our daughter. She’s already becoming picky about the ways I hold her, so I worry she will soon no longer like these style of naps and they will fade into memories.
Thats why I take a photo of us every time.